I want to shout and stamp my feet and generally rant - “It’s not my fault!”, “The cat did it!”, “Why can’t I sort this out?” “Why! Why! Why!”
I know perfectly well why. It was my choice, I put the ball of yarn down near the floor in a basket where my (usually) delightful cat could see it. And get to it. And drag it out in the middle of the night. And play with it.
There are two ways I can solve this little problem, and getting rid of the cat is not one of them. I could be destructive and pull and tug and create knots which I will never be rid of. I could also get the scissors out and cut all the tangles and leave myself with short bits everywhere, unsuitable for their original purpose. Both approaches destroy the yarn and lead to regrets I’d rather not have. After all I spun this for a purpose and if I ruin it now my shawl will never get finished.
The constructive way through this mess is the slow, patient way. Taking care to undo the threads before they become knotted beyond redemption. I know I can do this - I’ve done this before, you see – I try to learn from past mistakes, but not always successfully.
The metaphor should be pretty clear – my life is full of tangled threads. Several unfinished projects, including the shawl, numerous commitments to as many organisations and a desire to get on with my own life – whatever that may mean. So applying the weaving lesson to my life means extricating myself from the various roles I have in organisations and allowing myself to be an “ordinary” member for a change. I will be finishing off these large projects currently lying around the house, so that the equipment can be stored or sold. If I simply dropped these things – threw up my hands and said – “No more! Time to move on!” I know I would regret it. I know that because I’ve also learned that lesson about myself.
So this time I’m trying a different way. I’m no longer interpreting the current wisdom which proclaims: “Make the time. Do it now. You have to make a choice”, as meaning right now, this very instant. I am making the time, I am doing it now, but slowly, gradually, not rushing my changes. I’m designing and spinning (and weaving) a life with the threads as I want them.
I’d love you to share with me how do you make changes in your life? Do you find it easy? Do you have a metaphor for your life right now?